What do you do when you are at your whit's end?!?!?!?
To give you a little background, we have been a having a little bit of trouble with our daughter. The biggest problem, I can see so far, is us....the parents. However, changing those habits and reverting her behavior from negative to positive has been quite the chore.
The first major problem that we are having with her is what I call "Attention Getter's". These are behaviors that she displays when she isn't getting enough attention or "what she wants". For example, I could be on the phone either at work, or at home, and she will want some candy/snack. Now....usually this is just at about meal time, so obviously getting the snack is not an option....so what does she do......follows me around saying "please, please, please" and tugging on my clothes, and arms, or trying to jump up in my arms to be held. The kicker........if I wasn't pre-occupied at that particular moment.....the problem would not be as drastic. She would not normally continue to vi for my attention. She would instead just accept "NO" for "No" and pout until I finished what I was doing and started supper or lunch or whatever the situation may be.
Now, keep in mind that not all situations are about food. Sometimes, its what to watch on TV, or how loud she is allowed to play music. Sometimes its that she wants to play with the dog, and ends up getting too rough and causing the dogs to bark and fuss until she stops.
The other problem we are having with her is listening to us when we say "No" or "Stop". She simply reply's saying "I want to do what I want to do" and continues. I have tried a number of different approaches, and have found one that appears to be working..........for me. My husband on the other hand..........not so much. His lack of patience and more stern demeanor is causing the opposite effect.
For example, the other night, she was playing roughly with my mother-in-law's dog (chiuahua/mix), and was told to stop picking on him. She did quit picking on him, but continued to play with him. My husband, not slowing down enough to notice, got angry that she wasn't listening, and put her in time-out. She cried and was very upset not understanding why she was in trouble.....to her standards, she had quit picking on the dog. Of course, at that point, she continued to cry and ask questions and fuss......causing my husband to get more and more upset. By the end of a 2 hour stretch, she quited down for a short time, before something else made my husband upset (I think she asked to be excused) and lost his temper, resulting in her going to bed with both her and her dad upset at each other.
So my question is...........how do I balance him and her........keep consistancy when he doesnt have the patience that I have.......and keep my 4 year old from being as confused as I am?!?!?!